your thong is hanging out like whoa
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
Randomize
