Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
