just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
Randomize
