hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I’m a little confused...we were told by Cheeto Jesus and his minions multiple times that we would stop hearing about coronavirus the day after the election and, yet, I am still hearing about coronavirus. Is it possible they lied to us again?!?
Randomize
