Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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