They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Did you finish that presentation yet?
No but don’t worry about it. I do my best work in the middle of the night. I’m like a hamster.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
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