i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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