I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
How's moving going?
Uh, we're on the way to the store to buy more booze
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
