He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
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