My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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