i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Randomize
