Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I don't know. What do people who don't get stoned do?
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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