You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
