We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
