I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
Randomize
