I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
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