its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
The party went downhill once the fire department had to be called to put out the kitchen fire.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
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