If that was your dad, he is hot
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Randomize
