Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I rubbed one out into an envelope and mailed it to her. Game point, I win.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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