Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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