Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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