My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
My roommate is watching gummy bears "race" from a mega-marshmallow to his lava lamp.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
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