The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Randomize