I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
She needs sedatives and a leash
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Randomize
