I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Vodka?
Forever.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
