Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
But mostly fuck him senseless. Render him speechless. Have him look at my vagina and wonder, "WHAT SORCERY IS THIS?!"
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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