Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Dude someone is playing the piano in the other room while I shit and it's making it really peaceful
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Randomize
