Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
So maybe putting the blacklight above the futon wasn't the best idea...
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
