my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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