All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
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