I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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