Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
You know what would make this walk of shame even better? Picking up my cap n gown on the way to my car
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
