It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
