And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
areolas are like halos for boobs.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I want her autograph on my taint
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
