its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
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