Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
Randomize
