Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You know just a typical night. Eating peanut butter off of tablespoons and having sex to our favorite Christmas carols. This is my favorite time of year.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize