Pregnant stripper...not hot.
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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