you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Met a beautiful Irishman two nights in a row. I may never come back.
Randomize
