Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
The beers last night were like the tears from god
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
