Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Randomize
