so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
We are all done wearing pants today
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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