People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
Lock the bathroom door next time you are going to masterbate with the shower head, okay?
I was just power-washing my vagina.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
