I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I just want nice things and good sex
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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