names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
