Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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