you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Yo I'm lookin at the cows. They're just fucking docile things
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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