i would punch a child for taco bell
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
