I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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