How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
the guy sitting next to me at the bar has a patrick swayze tattoo hovering over a roast beef sandwich. 'merica.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
