Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Jarrod's passed out on the chair with a cup of milk and I've been staring him down in an attempt to use telepathy to make him spill it. Attempts unsuccessful.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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