so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Tall, dark & handsome can suck my short, pale & awkward dick.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
