So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
Apparently I was carrying around a bottle of listerine calling it 5 loco
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