Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
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