thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Sent nudes to my best friend's boyfriend and mom last night. So I'm coping with that on top of my hangover this morning
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
