Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Randomize
