thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Because nothing screams stable like yelling at a guy in a bar because last time you hooked up he stole your underwear.
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
