It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
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