please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
The best part about the NBA starting up is I get to see Charles Barkley make a fool out of himself for 8 months
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
