Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
