He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
you ever get that eerie feeling when you walk in a room, when you know youve barfed here before.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
