Why the fuck was there a shirtless Mexican in my apartment this morning?
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
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