Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
Randomize
