There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
you will always have a special place in my vag
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
after we were done she whispered to my dick "you sir, are a genius"
I guess all those years with her as your babysitter finally paid off.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
Randomize
