Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
